Here is a situation: It rains during your meticulously planned annual big family barbecue.

Feeling the tension and anger? I thought so.

Two questions:
The first: What can’t you control?
o The weather.
o Your favorite cousins have the flu and won’t be attending.
o Using the new fire pit under the flowering pear tree that is in full flower.
o Aunt Melinda’s jello salad; Uncle Jim’s jokes.

The second: What can you control?
o How you cook the food today.
o How you rearrange the house or garage to have the party.
o How you move the activities to indoor events.
o How much fun you will still have, and how great it will be to see the family.
o Your outlook and attitude.

One of my favorite quotes comes from the poet Maya Angelou, “I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage and tangled Christmas tree lights.”

So, if this were your party, what would the rain tell you about you? Do events that you cannot control take control of you? Do you have a meltdown, or do you realize it is beyond your control and find reasons to be happy?

I often tell the story of getting detoured from my normal route to the highway only to find an amazing plant nursery I did not know about; great plants, great prices and a farmer’s market. What a find! I had two choices with the detour – allow it to get me upset, or to realize I had no control over the event and to be on the lookout for something great.

I believe there is always something great, often initially hidden by a disappointment. The trick is to learn how to be able to see it. And you can’t if you let the things you cannot control get you down.

You can’t always control how things happen, but you can always control how you respond. Be optimistic, upbeat and look for the good. “Positive attitude” – it does a body good.

Please pass this on to someone who can benefit from it.