We, as a culture, are great at the blame game. Whenever something happens – we stumble on the street, undercook a meal, back into another car, the wind blows a tree limb down – we first look to whom we can blame. And the more we look for others to be at fault, the less we own our responses – the less we take responsibility for our choices, actions and outcomes.

So, let’s try something. This will be the only time I’ll let you blame.

Complete this phrase in as many ways as you want:
“If it weren’t for__________________, I could (would) be doing _______________.

Got your list?

Here are some I have heard lately:
If it weren’t for this recession, I’d have a better job (or a job).

If it weren’t for my work schedule, I’d eat better and be healthier.

If it weren’t for the kids’ activities schedule, the house would be cleaner.

If it weren’t for my boss’s mental instability, I would have been promoted already.

If it weren’t for wife’s (husband’s) family, I would enjoy the holidays.

I find blaming wears me out. After blaming, nothing happens. Nothing changes. Now I am tired and not any better.

Here is what I offer. If each of your “If it weren’t for ______” statements are truly important to you, then it is critical for you to own the result. So, if you said, “If it weren’t for my work schedule, I’d eat better and be healthier,” how will you own this result instead of blame the work schedule? Can you prepare food to take with you, have family members help you cook, investigate new quick and easy, healthy foods and recipes, redefine your work hours to build in exercise, yoga or meditation time, find others with similar schedules and see how they make it work? It is about taking ownership of what you need to happen. No excuses.

So to me, the choices are: get worn out by blaming others and having no resolution, or, own the outcome and make changes in our behaviors to get the desired result.

This week, pick one of your “If it weren’t for ______” statements, and own its outcome. Just do one. Then next week, do another, and another. Soon you’ll see that when you own the results, things happen. And try this with your kids and your teammates in the workplace. Create a “blame-free” zone.

Please forward this to someone who can benefit from it.