Posts Tagged ‘choices’

A Victim of Popular Opinion

Thursday, April 22nd, 2010

Keeping up with the Joneses. Having all the latest fashions. Driving a certain brand of car. Living in a particular neighborhood. Popular opinion. It can offer valuable information. It can also entice us to be something we are not. Who influences your thinking and your decisions about you?

Let me tell you about two of my friends.

Sam (name has been changed) is clear about what he thinks and believes about himself; he knows what he is good at, passionate about and what success is for him. He has found his personal fit in today’s world based on his talents, passions and purpose. And though he listens to the world, he never allows it to determine how he should live, what work he should do and how he spends his money. He is one of the most content people I know.

Jean (name has been changed) is very aware of popular opinion. She chooses what she wears, where she works and what she drives based on what others say. She does not trust her understanding of herself, has not spent the time to know herself, or made decisions that matter for her. She is one of the most erratic and discontented people I know.

In a world where technology constantly exposes us to popular opinion, I look at these two (and many more just like them), to see the impact of using our perspective or another’s perspective of how to live. In all cases, those who take ownership of what is personally important are more content.

Much of my work helps people rediscover their passion for work and life by finding their fit – finding their best place. Those who find their fit know the following things about themselves:
1. What they are good at – what makes them feel capable and competent.
2. What they love to do – what activates their passions and emotions.
3. What is success for them in today’s world – what makes them happy and where value is for them in today’s terms.

So what do you know about you? Moreover, who do you listen to? Is your voice louder and more confident than public opinion? How will you ensure you are living the life you choose, instead of one that others say you should? (Be sure to read George Saunders’ essay “The Braindead Megaphone.) Own it. Work strong, live stronger.

Please pass this on to someone who can benefit from it. Contact me if you need my help.

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What You Can and Can’t Control

Thursday, April 8th, 2010

Here is a situation: It rains during your meticulously planned annual big family barbecue.

Feeling the tension and anger? I thought so.

Two questions:
The first: What can’t you control?
o The weather.
o Your favorite cousins have the flu and won’t be attending.
o Using the new fire pit under the flowering pear tree that is in full flower.
o Aunt Melinda’s jello salad; Uncle Jim’s jokes.

The second: What can you control?
o How you cook the food today.
o How you rearrange the house or garage to have the party.
o How you move the activities to indoor events.
o How much fun you will still have, and how great it will be to see the family.
o Your outlook and attitude.

One of my favorite quotes comes from the poet Maya Angelou, “I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage and tangled Christmas tree lights.”

So, if this were your party, what would the rain tell you about you? Do events that you cannot control take control of you? Do you have a meltdown, or do you realize it is beyond your control and find reasons to be happy?

I often tell the story of getting detoured from my normal route to the highway only to find an amazing plant nursery I did not know about; great plants, great prices and a farmer’s market. What a find! I had two choices with the detour – allow it to get me upset, or to realize I had no control over the event and to be on the lookout for something great.

I believe there is always something great, often initially hidden by a disappointment. The trick is to learn how to be able to see it. And you can’t if you let the things you cannot control get you down.

You can’t always control how things happen, but you can always control how you respond. Be optimistic, upbeat and look for the good. “Positive attitude” – it does a body good.

Please pass this on to someone who can benefit from it.

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Life – “Your Way”

Thursday, February 4th, 2010

Today, each of us wants our music, our food, our cars, our houses and virtually everything else exactly our way. We personalize; we customize – because we have choices.

The amazing thing is that we are so quick to customize our food, but so reluctant to customize our lives.

Each of us is born with a unique set of neural pathways (brain responses) that create our natural abilities and our passions. Some are artistic and social. Others are empirical, detail-focused and analytical. Some can sing and others can solve puzzles. But most let others direct them to what they should do for work and how they should live their lives.

Your happiest moments happen when you use what you are good at and passionate about. The more of these moments you create, the better your work and life become – you feel more capable, competent and more fired up. And only you have the key to determine the “true you.”

So commit a little time each day to write your “owner’s manual”:
1. List what you are good at; what are your talents and strengths?
2. List what you are passionate about; what do you love to do?

Once known, how will you customize your work and life around your talents, strengths and passions? If you could have life “your way,” what would you choose?

For more information including my Talent and Thinking Style Assessment and my “For Life” section, see www.LiveFiredUp.com.

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