We all spend more time considering what we are not rather than what we are. We always compare ourselves to others – to who they are, what they have and what they think. Instead, we should check in on ourselves – to understand ourselves and use our voice, not the voices of others, to direct us in work and in life.

My work has me speaking to audiences and writing about discovering and playing to our talents, strengths and passions. I always find that we are all infinitely more capable and more connected than we initially believe, but don’t know this because we don’t invest the time to self-discover. When we are unfamiliar with how capable and competent we are, we allow others to direct us into areas that do not play to our greatness – we pass the wheel to another driver. And we end up on a road that is not always right for us. Life is too short to spend any time on the wrong road.

As I like to say, and is part of my personal belief, that someone larger than you thought you should be you, and equipped you with gifts that show up as your talents, strengths and passions. And when you play to these gifts, you see how capable you are.

I feel empowered with that news. That makes me want to discover my talents and build my life and work around them. This is how I connect to what I am naturally good at. This is how I feel capable and competent in a constantly changing world. This is how I invent my life in the way that makes the greatest sense for me. And inventing our lives is the greatest gift there is in life. And to do it well it requires that we “know ourselves.”

The first thing I always recommend for people starting to reconnect to who they are is to journal. Spend 10 minutes each day writing your thoughts.

Here are some good prompts to get you going:
o What am I doing when I am happiest?
o When I feel like I am making a great difference, I am doing…
o Two things that I love about my life are…
o What surprised me most about today was…

The goal of the journal is to help you start to notice you – how you think, what you believe, what you feel and what you notice. This is a great way to get introduced to your talents, strengths and passions. This will tell you a lot about you.

Journaling may be difficult to start, but once you start, you will look forward to the time each day to get connected to yourself, share your thoughts and be in the moment. The more you learn about yourself, the better decisions you will make about life and work. In the process, you will see how brave, strong and smart you really are. And this is something important you should know…

Please share this with someone who can benefit from it and watch for my new book, The Greatness Zone – Know Yourself, Find Your Fit, Transform the World, due out October 1. Sign up at www.TheGreatnessZone.com to hear of our events and resources, and friend us on Facebook at “The Greatness Zone.”

Life now moves at the speed of blur. Most days we fall into bed nearly unaware of all that happened in the day. Information moves through our heads so quickly that it rarely registers as it passes over our brains. So, slow it down for a minute. Get out a journal and write.

Here are some amazing things that happen when you start to spend some time with yourself and record your thoughts:

1. You start to notice details you previously did not notice; you improve your vision and awareness.
2. You start to see how you behave, what you think and what you feel with greater clarity – you start to better understand yourself.
3. You become more connected to your world, your relationships and your sense of self.

Journaling is a great reminder that you own your life and your responses. Journaling helps you to sort through feelings, emotions, ideas and perspectives. Journaling asks you to talk to yourself, to see what you really believe, what you really want, and what you really feel. This is what makes journaling difficult for many people. But the benefits – the awareness it creates – is priceless – in both work and life situations.

To get started journaling, I recommend the following:

1. Buy a lined notebook. I like handwriting instead of using a computer, but do what makes you feel more comfortable.
2. Commit a time each day to journal. Spend 10 minutes in that time period and write whatever comes to mind. The first week is difficult. But once you get your groove, you will look forward to journaling.
3. Start by recording a statement, then journal what you think about it. Examples:
a. I am most happy when I am …..
b. Something that I thought would be difficult, was easy…
c. Two great people I met today were…
d. I feel my most capable when I am doing…
4. Allow yourself to write whatever comes to mind. Don’t edit.
5. Once you get in the habit, spend time reviewing what you write. What information does it tell you about you – your talents, strengths and passions?

Get reconnected to the greatness that is in you. Start by writing down what you think and feel. Start to tell your story. Journaling… it does a body good…

Watch for my new book, The Greatness Zone – Know Yourself, Find Your Fit, and Transform the World, due out this September.

Here is my perspective. Each of us has specific talents and strengths – attributes uniquely hardwired in us. Some are great with details and solving challenges, others are exceptional listeners, relationship builders or have spiritual insight. Some are artistic and some can write. Some can invent and some are extraordinary teachers. Each of us has the ability to create our personal masterpiece – our great work.

When we discover and play to our talents and strengths, we bring our best to our lives and to our world – we access our greatness and use it to impact the world.

o A teacher’s great work can change the life of a student forever.
o An artist’s great work can change a person’s mood with their art, music or writing.
o A builder’s great work can create a safe place for a family to realize their dreams.

The point is you have a masterpiece in you – there is greatness in you. But most people are unfamiliar with how to find and release their masterpiece. It starts by knowing yourself – the talents, strengths and passions you have. Here’s how:

1. List what you are great at. What comes naturally? What do others say you are great at? What do you seem to have great success doing?
2. List what you are passionate about. What gets you excited, energized and fired up? What could you do all day and never look at the clock?
3. Review your lists. Where do they intersect? What are you good at and love doing? These are your masterpiece areas. These are your areas of greatest performance, greatest impact and most significant contribution. What things come to mind? Where are you at your best?

The more connected and self-aware you are, the clearer your masterpiece areas will become. The world needs you as you are. Don’t try to force it or to be what others insist you be; instead, play to the talents, strengths and passions you that are part of the deeper or “true you.” When you understand yourself, you will see your masterpiece emerge.

I’ll talk more about this in my new book, The Greatness Zone; Know Yourself, Find Your Fit, and Transform the World, due out in September 2010. Watch for more information soon.

Let me share two stories of those who made the effort to know themselves, then based on what they discovered about themselves, chose to kick it up and respond in an extraordinary way (for them). It took (takes) effort and courage.

Sam is the son of a friend of mine. He has always wanted to be an actor. His passion is to act. He was in all the plays in high school and is even working on his first screenplay. It is all he can think of. He earned and saved enough money and moved to Los Angeles to be closer to the movie industry. And like all aspiring actors, is working several odd jobs to afford putting himself into the environment that activates his greatest passions. His mom worries about him but she also realizes that he is living an extraordinary life – for him. He isn’t worried about buying a house, having a fancy car. He puts himself into areas that get him noticed for his acting and his writing. He couldn’t be happier – his life is kicked up – and is extraordinary – for him. He knows himself. He knows what makes life great for him and he goes for it.

I have another good friend whose youngest son recently came out. Though she had suspected he was gay for years, it is now out in the open. She told me her greatest sadness about him coming out was that he was not going to have a normal life – a normal life according to her terms. But after hours of conversation with each other, she now realizes that his life is very happy – for him. Getting married to comply with family expectations would have given him someone else’s life. He is now living openly and honestly and is creating his own extraordinary life – as an exceptional attorney. She can now see that extraordinary had to be his definition, not hers. And to know what that is, he had to know himself and be honest with himself.

So, how well do you know yourself? What makes life ordinary and what makes life extraordinary – for you?

You choose how you want life to be and since you do not get this day back, shouldn’t it be an extraordinary, “kicked-up” kind of day? That is my goal each day.

What would make today EXTRAordinary for you? And how will you make it happen?

Please forward this to someone who can benefit from it and contact me to help you learn how to better know yourself, so you can choose EXTRAordinary for you.

Here is why I mention this. I wrote the book to offer a process to help you know yourself, find your fit and transform your world. Another way to say that is to help you see the difference you make. It is presented as a story of two kids in college – and how they learn the five rules for a really great life. It presents this thinking:

Each of us has the ability and responsibility to invent our life. We are given amazing gifts – known as our talents and passions. We are all different; your gifts and mine are not the same. The reason for this is shared in the great quote, “we don’t get harmony when we all sing the same note.” We are all different to add to and invent an extraordinary world. When we know our talents and passions, we can bring our best to the world. But if you don’t know what you are great at and love to do, how will you share your best? Or, how will you make a difference?

So as I get the book ready to share this new approach, I ask you to start to consider what difference you make each day:
o Whose world is better because you are part of it today?
o What is one great thing you do that changes your life or someone else’s life for the better?
o What can you share today that will make someone happier?
o What can you share today that will make someone better?
o What did you learn about yourself today that reminds you of what a difference you make?
o What passions do you have that help us understand our world and connect better with others?
o What does the world need that you do well?

To make your greatest difference you must first know yourself. From your gifts, you can find where you have the greatest impact and what you can bring to the world. This is meant to be practical. Be yourself. Be great.

What difference can you make today?

Please share this with someone who can benefit from it and contact me to learn more about the five rules for a really great life.

We create our best lives and work when we build them around what we are good at and love to do; when we build them around our “thing.”

You do your best work when you feel capable and competent. You are more creative, more interested and more focused; you are in your element. You feel confident; you reach for more; you do more – and better. You are at your best when you play to what you are good at.

Now imagine yourself working in an area where you do not feel capable and competent. You second-guess your decisions. You don’t feel very creative nor are ready to take risks for greatness. You feel unsure. You just play it safe. You watch and don’t participate.

What a waste.

Live is too great and too much of a gift to allow it to go by without playing to our talents and passions – our unique gifts. I believe it is part of the plan that we invent our lives around the unique gifts we received in our DNA – our hardwiring. The more we know ourselves, the more we can identify these gifts and include them in our lives. This way we play to our “thing” – and the quality of both work and life is better.

What are you great at? Not sure? Try this:
1. List what you feel you are good at.
2. Ask three others who know you well what they feel you are good at. Compare their comments to yours.
3. Start to see a profile of your talents and strengths – your “thing.” Identify how you can include these in both your work and life.

We are not good at everything. But we are exceptional at some things.

We each are given a very particular set of talents, strengths and passions – many call these our “gifts.” It is our responsibility to know them and to build them into as many aspects of life as we can – because they are our best areas. We are good at them. We love doing them. We make a difference with them. And I believe we each have a different great “thing” so we have the ability to bring something particular and extraordinary to our world. There is space for all of us to have our “thing.”

Please forward this to someone who may benefit from it. Please contact me if you need more information to help you find “your thing.”

The last two years have been some of the toughest times in many of our lives. But tough times are just part of the way life is. Life is as it is – our role is to respond to it, treasure and live it in an extraordinary way, regardless how it comes at us.

The key to this is to know yourself – what makes you happy and what your favorite things are. Then to build these things into your life, particularly in tough times, to feel optimistic, content and well.

Most of us don’t spend enough time knowing ourselves and in particular, the things that make us happy. When tough times arrive, we are ill-equipped to successfully respond. So start today. Create a list of your favorite things. Build as many of them into your life everyday – and double up on them when your world is difficult.

Ask yourself these questions to create your list of “favorite things:”
1. What am I good at? What do I feel capable and competent doing?
2. What am I passionate about? What gets me engaged and fired up?
3. What could I do all day and never look at the time?
4. What can I read that will bring me to a good place?
5. Who can I spend time with and feel connected, important and loved?
6. What place or location makes me feel connected and alive?

So back to a thunderstorm in Salzburg, Austria and the Von Trapps. The lesson is that when things get tough, know how to respond with things that make you feel happy, secure and loved. Build your list. Have it ready because life is never easy, but how you respond can make it great.

Now let’s say that as you are detoured, you pass by an amazing coffee shop and bakery – you never knew they were there. And next to them is an orchard with fresh fruit and homemade wine. How serendipitous.

Now, back to life. You are moving through your busy life. Suddenly an event happens – a recession, a lost job, an illness, a family emergency. A roadblock. You can’t move on as you were. You have to stop. You have to find a detour. What is your first reaction? Wait, let’s talk about this…

Obstacles and roadblocks are life’s way of saying “stop, think, dig deeper into yourself, see what you are made of, then respond.” Roadblocks are life’s way of getting our attention – then offering us a detour.

Most people hate the roadblock; it is perceived as a negative event and an interruption. Instead, consider the roadblock as an event for good – to help you see how capable you are, to get you out of “autopilot,” and to show you things you were too distracted to see – like the bakery and the orchard on the detour.

As you meet your roadblocks:
1. Believe that something better is in store.
2. Allow yourself to stop, think and respond, noticing your capabilities and strengths. As has been said, “we fear because we forget (or don’t know) how strong we are (or who we are).”
3. Connect with others to collaborate in ways to react and respond; think “collective genius.”

A roadblock is forced change. Most people hate change. Instead, be open to the good change can bring and learn to welcome it. Soon, roadblocks will become great events because they’ll show how capable you are and how big your world can be; they can change your perspective.

Some celebrities seem never to fall. Their careers keep rising, they have money, fame, great lives and great success. And then there are the other 350 million of us who deal regularly with disappointment, challenge and failure.

Failure – it is part of living a great life. In fact our failures are a means to better understand ourselves – to learn how capable we are. Think of it this way:

When we fail, we meet an obstacle we are unable to navigate around. This obstacle is a roadblock requiring us stop, think, observe, assess and learn. For the times we did not fall or encounter an obstacle, we were successful in our response – nothing new to learn. But obstacles require more thinking, more effort and more lessons. These lessons set us up for future successes.

So as you move through life, your greatest lessons will be in your failures. But you won’t succeed if you don’t get up from every fall.

So here is my “pick myself back up” approach – see if it works for you:
1. I go to my library of wise quotes and highlighted passages in books from wise authors; their comments and wisdom help me regain my footing and sanity.
2. I look at how I failed; I record 3 things that did not go right (what do I need to learn?).
3. I record three ways things could improve – and what I need to do to make them improve (what talents and strengths do I have I didn’t know about – or what resources and help from others can I count on?)
4. I record two things I am great at (because a bruised ego needs some good news).
5. I make a commitment to improve and give myself a high-five for being tough in a tough world – and then get a Starbucks.

Develop your response to getting back up stronger and more determined. Realize only you can do this for you. You own your life and all of or your responses. Learn to see a fall as a lesson to make your future days more successful.

Your EQ – your emotional intelligence (your ability to know yourself, manage yourself and get along with others) accounts for 40 – 60% of your career success. Very important.

Today’s workplace is a service-based (relationship) workplace. Since employees are paid to think through their responses to customers, and they control their minds, managers must now engage and inspire employees to activate their performance. Today’s managers must be able to listen, hear, watch and connect – they must be relationship builders, connectors and communicators.

To be a relationship builder requires strong EQ – a clear knowledge of yourself and how to successfully relate to others. This enables a manager to better connect with and understand employees – to know their talents, values and interests to put them in the right jobs, motivate them and activate their performance.

To improve your EQ:
1. Become more aware or your responses, reactions and emotions. Noticing how you react helps you assess its effectiveness and ineffectiveness.
2. Manage your emotions to improve your ability to listen, respond and successfully react with others.
3. Watch the behaviors of others; understand their moods and communication method to improve how you connect with them. Learn to listen so people will talk, and talk so people will listen.

Smarts – defined today – relate more to your ability to know yourself and to connect successfully with others rather than just what you know. Though some people are naturally better at “connection” and EQ, studies support all of us can improve. Improving your EQ has a direct impact on the quality of your work and life relationships, the quality of your work and the quality of your life.

We know these two to be talented – but there is more to it. They are talented because they know what they are great at and chose roles that use what they are great at. In other words, they get to do what they are great at every day.

Each of us is great at certain things. The requirement is that we know ourselves well enough to know what our talents and strengths are, then to choose roles at work and in life that allow us to use what we are great at. Those who are exceptional at building and maintaining relationships are more talented in sales and service roles (think how less successful they would be in analytical roles that did not include personal contact). Those who are naturally passionate about and good with details, precision and accuracy are a better fit for technical, accounting and scientific roles.

Fame is not a requirement of being talented. Leslie, who manages my podiatrist’s office, is talented; she can run an exceptionally efficient office and make every patient feel well cared for and important. Amanda at the Phoenix, AZ Vera Bradley store is talented; she is exceptional at listening and interpreting what customers want and need. Jack, my electrician, is talented; his detail focus ensures he is on time, his work is precise, he offers meaningful suggestions, keeps things clean and bills fairly.

Talented people are all around. They work in roles that play to their strengths. Their workplace considers them great. As customers, we love dealing with them. Are you one of them?

What are your talents? (Need help to identify your talents? Use my Talents and Thinking Style Assessment). Does your job let you play to what you are great at?

Build your talent plan to identify your talents and to work in roles that allow you to use what you do best. Start noticing talented people around you – and how they use what they are great at. See how fired up! they are about their work. It is inspiring.

I have been speaking and working with both companies and individuals for over 25 years. Most seem to be convinced that their work life and their home lives are supposed to be average; that passionate and exciting lives are reserved for the famous and the few. My message in all that time has been to train people to spend time with themselves – to learn what they are great at and what they love to do. It may be reading, cooking or gardening. It may be flying, singing or investing. It may be connecting with others, inventing or working with computers. Each of us is gifted with a very specific combination of talents and strengths. Our lives are given to us to discover who we are, discover our combination of talents and strengths, and then build a work and home life that plays to what we are the best at and the most passionate about. This is how we own our lives. This is how we live more authentically and honestly. This starts with a greater self-awareness by answering the two questions: What am I a great at? What am I passionate about?

Life is not a dress rehearsal. The sooner we learn what gifts, talents and passions we have, the sooner we can build our lives around them. Not only does this make us more competitive in our work lives, but it amplifies each day of home lives. We live more fully, contribute more significantly and enjoy our lives. Albert Einstein said, “The single most important decision any of us ever have to make is whether or not to believe we will live in a friendly universe.” That means do we feel that life is supposed to be extraordinary and that the world is a positive place waiting for us to contribute our best. Or, as many feel, life is meant to be bland and boring…and they just count the days until it ends.

For me, and for those I speak to, the only way to approach life is Fired Up! Be passionate, be excited, love what you do and the life you have. Know yourself, play to your strengths and build a life that lets you work and live in a way that excites you and moves you. It is your choice. The buck stops with you. You own your life and your decisions about it and work. If you hate your job, start to identify a job you love and build a plan to get it. If there are aspects of life that are bland or are not for you, start to build a plan to change. Time doesn’t wait. Bland and boring is a waste of your time. Choose great. Choose passionate. Choose Fired Up!

Hiring managers want to know these three things; moreover, they want to see that you know what you are great at, what you are passionate about, how you use what you are great at in the workplace, and how it all creates value. Provide this, you’ll stand out and get hired. See the full resource above for more information.