Posts Tagged ‘know yourself’

Get Up When You Fall

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

“The greatest glory consists, not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” Oliver Goldsmith.

Some celebrities seem never to fall. Their careers keep rising, they have money, fame, great lives and great success. And then there are the other 350 million of us who deal regularly with disappointment, challenge and failure.

Failure – it is part of living a great life. In fact our failures are a means to better understand ourselves – to learn how capable we are. Think of it this way:

When we fail, we meet an obstacle we are unable to navigate around. This obstacle is a roadblock requiring us stop, think, observe, assess and learn. For the times we did not fall or encounter an obstacle, we were successful in our response – nothing new to learn. But obstacles require more thinking, more effort and more lessons. These lessons set us up for future successes.

So as you move through life, your greatest lessons will be in your failures. But you won’t succeed if you don’t get up from every fall.

So here is my “pick myself back up” approach – see if it works for you:
1. I go to my library of wise quotes and highlighted passages in books from wise authors; their comments and wisdom help me regain my footing and sanity.
2. I look at how I failed; I record 3 things that did not go right (what do I need to learn?).
3. I record three ways things could improve – and what I need to do to make them improve (what talents and strengths do I have I didn’t know about – or what resources and help from others can I count on?)
4. I record two things I am great at (because a bruised ego needs some good news).
5. I make a commitment to improve and give myself a high-five for being tough in a tough world – and then get a Starbucks.

Develop your response to getting back up stronger and more determined. Realize only you can do this for you. You own your life and all of or your responses. Learn to see a fall as a lesson to make your future days more successful.

Are You The Right Kind of Smart?

Monday, March 8th, 2010

Your IQ – your hardwired intelligence (actually your ability to learn) accounts for 4 – 10% of your career success. Important, but not the most important.

Your EQ – your emotional intelligence (your ability to know yourself, manage yourself and get along with others) accounts for 40 – 60% of your career success. Very important.

Today’s workplace is a service-based (relationship) workplace. Since employees are paid to think through their responses to customers, and they control their minds, managers must now engage and inspire employees to activate their performance. Today’s managers must be able to listen, hear, watch and connect – they must be relationship builders, connectors and communicators.

To be a relationship builder requires strong EQ – a clear knowledge of yourself and how to successfully relate to others. This enables a manager to better connect with and understand employees – to know their talents, values and interests to put them in the right jobs, motivate them and activate their performance.

To improve your EQ:
1. Become more aware or your responses, reactions and emotions. Noticing how you react helps you assess its effectiveness and ineffectiveness.
2. Manage your emotions to improve your ability to listen, respond and successfully react with others.
3. Watch the behaviors of others; understand their moods and communication method to improve how you connect with them. Learn to listen so people will talk, and talk so people will listen.

Smarts – defined today – relate more to your ability to know yourself and to connect successfully with others rather than just what you know. Though some people are naturally better at “connection” and EQ, studies support all of us can improve. Improving your EQ has a direct impact on the quality of your work and life relationships, the quality of your work and the quality of your life.

What if Emeril Lagasse Were a Busdriver?

Wednesday, October 28th, 2009

If Emeril Lagasse drove a bus, we would never know the talented chef and restauranteur he is. If Tiger Woods were a salesman, we would never know the talented athlete and golfer he is.

We know these two to be talented – but there is more to it. They are talented because they know what they are great at and chose roles that use what they are great at. In other words, they get to do what they are great at every day.

Each of us is great at certain things. The requirement is that we know ourselves well enough to know what our talents and strengths are, then to choose roles at work and in life that allow us to use what we are great at. Those who are exceptional at building and maintaining relationships are more talented in sales and service roles (think how less successful they would be in analytical roles that did not include personal contact). Those who are naturally passionate about and good with details, precision and accuracy are a better fit for technical, accounting and scientific roles.

Fame is not a requirement of being talented. Leslie, who manages my podiatrist’s office, is talented; she can run an exceptionally efficient office and make every patient feel well cared for and important. Amanda at the Phoenix, AZ Vera Bradley store is talented; she is exceptional at listening and interpreting what customers want and need. Jack, my electrician, is talented; his detail focus ensures he is on time, his work is precise, he offers meaningful suggestions, keeps things clean and bills fairly.

Talented people are all around. They work in roles that play to their strengths. Their workplace considers them great. As customers, we love dealing with them. Are you one of them?

What are your talents? (Need help to identify your talents? Use my Talents and Thinking Style Assessment). Does your job let you play to what you are great at?

Build your talent plan to identify your talents and to work in roles that allow you to use what you do best. Start noticing talented people around you – and how they use what they are great at. See how fired up! they are about their work. It is inspiring.

Are You Bland and Boring or Fired Up?

Sunday, September 20th, 2009

We all need some excitement in our lives – at work and at home. Excitement means playing to your passions – to those things that get you out of the bland and boring and into a fired up! life and work.

I have been speaking and working with both companies and individuals for over 25 years. Most seem to be convinced that their work life and their home lives are supposed to be average; that passionate and exciting lives are reserved for the famous and the few. My message in all that time has been to train people to spend time with themselves – to learn what they are great at and what they love to do. It may be reading, cooking or gardening. It may be flying, singing or investing. It may be connecting with others, inventing or working with computers. Each of us is gifted with a very specific combination of talents and strengths. Our lives are given to us to discover who we are, discover our combination of talents and strengths, and then build a work and home life that plays to what we are the best at and the most passionate about. This is how we own our lives. This is how we live more authentically and honestly. This starts with a greater self-awareness by answering the two questions: What am I a great at? What am I passionate about?

Life is not a dress rehearsal. The sooner we learn what gifts, talents and passions we have, the sooner we can build our lives around them. Not only does this make us more competitive in our work lives, but it amplifies each day of home lives. We live more fully, contribute more significantly and enjoy our lives. Albert Einstein said, “The single most important decision any of us ever have to make is whether or not to believe we will live in a friendly universe.” That means do we feel that life is supposed to be extraordinary and that the world is a positive place waiting for us to contribute our best. Or, as many feel, life is meant to be bland and boring…and they just count the days until it ends.

For me, and for those I speak to, the only way to approach life is Fired Up! Be passionate, be excited, love what you do and the life you have. Know yourself, play to your strengths and build a life that lets you work and live in a way that excites you and moves you. It is your choice. The buck stops with you. You own your life and your decisions about it and work. If you hate your job, start to identify a job you love and build a plan to get it. If there are aspects of life that are bland or are not for you, start to build a plan to change. Time doesn’t wait. Bland and boring is a waste of your time. Choose great. Choose passionate. Choose Fired Up!