Posts Tagged ‘love life’

Half-full or Half-Empty?

Thursday, March 4th, 2010

Are you a half-full or a half-empty kind of person? Are you optimistic or are you sure to find the down side if there is one to be had?

One of my favorite books is Arianne de Bonvoisin’s First 30 Days. In it, she outlines nine principles of handling change and building a more positive perspective. Her first principle is “People who successfully navigate change have positive beliefs.”

Positive beliefs come from you – you may not be able to control the things that happen to you but you can control how you respond to them. You can choose to see “half-full” – upbeat, optimistic and confident – or choose to see “half-empty” – down, pessimistic and unsure.

Consider these ways to build a more positive perspective:
1. Notice when you become negative and immediately focus on something positive. Have others help you see your behavior.
2. Read a power quote or an inspirational passage to start your day on a positive tone.
3. Create an upbeat “break” during the day. Focus on 3 things that have gone well so far.
4. Choose your friends wisely; associate with positive and confident people.

To make the point, here are some great half-empty/half-full perspectives from the website www.businessballs.com.
o The project manager/engineer says the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. 

o The bar fly says is not about whether the glass is half full or half empty, it’s about who is paying for the next round.
o The consultant says let’s examine the question, prepare a strategy for an answer, and all for a daily rate of…
o The worrier frets that the remaining half will evaporate by tomorrow.
o The fanatic thinks the glass is completely full, even though it isn’t. 

o The entrepreneur sees the glass as undervalued by half its potential.
o The computer specialist says that next year the glass capacity will double and will cost half the price.
o The Buddhist says don’t worry, remember the glass is already broken.
o The personal coach knows that the glass goes from full to empty depending on the circumstances, and reminds the drinker that he can always fill the glass when he wishes.
o The grammarian says that while the terms half-full and half-empty are colloquially acceptable the glass can technically be neither since both full and empty are absolute states and therefore are incapable of being halved or modified in any way. 


You control your attitude. Know yourself; choose to be positive and upbeat. It is great for your health and happiness.

Rise and Shine or Rise and Whine

Thursday, December 3rd, 2009

Your choice – whine or shine…

We choose our attitude, how we approach our days and what difference we make. We have repeatedly heard that attitude inspires our success or leads to our downfall. Are you truly happy, or are you constantly miserable? As poet Maya Angelo says, “You can tell a lot about a person by the way he or she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage and tangled Christmas tree lights.” What kind of person are you – a shiner or a whiner?

The world is not perfect – it will never be and it isn’t designed to be. But in the course of our challenging days we are gifted with extraordinary things – if we choose to see them. Each day we choose the particular glasses through which we see our world. We can see gloom and limits, or opportunities and possibilities. We influence the outcome and success of our days by our choice to whine or shine. Our choice. Our lens.

I have a friend who revels in having the world see how difficult his world is. He is always more tired, more strapped for money, more upset, more unappreciated…the list doesn’t end. I think his perspective is “if you are not visibly suffering, how will others know you are a martyr?” Why be a martyr? Time for some whine…

I also have a friend who is dealing with a long-term debilitating illness. This person is upbeat, happy and fully present in his world. Every day he is content, optimistic and adding value. What a shine…

It is our choice to how to approach our days and how to be affected by the events in our day. Attitude is everything.

Take Action: Commit to wearing new “glasses” – to see the positive instead of the negative. Start your “shine” list – a list of the reasons to be upbeat, appreciative and grateful. But if you choose to rise and whine, I’m not going to invite you to my party, even if I am serving cheese. (whine and cheese…get it?)

Stuck in Neutral

Friday, November 6th, 2009

This tough economy has a lot of people stuck. Psychologists’ business is up; anti-depressive medications are on a steady rise. Tough situations challenge us but I have come to realize that a tough situation is just an opportunity to see we are more capable than we realize. A challenge or obstacle forces us to think, then act – no stuck in neutral.

One of my new favorite books is Ariane de BonVoisin’s The First 30 Days. She presents change creates opportunity and we should believe that change will always lead us to something better. With this thought, we don’t fear change; we welcome it. (Check out her book and website).

It is difficult to maintain an optimistic perspective in the face of harsh times. But our resiliency is dependent on our attitude. If we constantly focus on the negative, then that is all we will see (and the medications and time with psychologists will continue). If, instead, we develop the ability to constantly focus on the positive and the opportunities, we will be more upbeat and optimistic and will have the energy and tenacity to survive the down times.

This economy got me down. So to jumpstart myself out my self-imposed death spiral, I listed as many benefits of a recession as I could think of. Click here to see my list. It was easier to write than I thought and it brought me to a better reality. Use the comment section to add your personal “benefits of a recession” – I’ll keep the list going.

Time for Action: How will you stay upbeat and focused on the good? What great things have happened in a down time? How will you use obstacles to become more connected to who you are and the talents you have? You own your life and your attitude. Get out of neutral.

Question Tuesday (Questions to get you thinking)

Tuesday, October 13th, 2009

Do I know myself well enough to know what I am great at? Have I built my life around my talents and gifts? What changes need to happen so I can start to include them because I know they would improve the quality of my life or my happiness? (Spend time getting to know yourself and your gifts – these are yours to use to build and live the best life possible.)