Life is as life is. The most successful people in life (and I define successful people in life as those who love their lives, not just those that have the most stuff) are those who find small ways to stay upbeat, happy and engaged regardless what comes their way. They reconnect to small meaningful things during the day to remind themselves of what is going right instead of what is going wrong. They make the time for attitude mini-makeovers – minor changes in attitude and approach to focus on abundance and possibility, not scarcity and impossibility.

Here are two examples:

1. When you notice your belt is getting a little tighter than it should, eliminate snacks for the week, or replace them with fruit. Don’t change all your eating habits, just select one thing and either eliminate an abuse or add something of value. It helps you feel in charge, it is easier to do and it helps you address an issue. You feel empowered and capable. It does great things for your attitude.

2. When you see that times are tight and you have less money for the old traditions of eating out, going to movies or buying things at will, you modify just a bit to have friends over, play board games, go for coffee instead of meals, or plan a day of window shopping instead of store shopping. Life is still fun, but now it doesn’t put you into a financial situation you can’t afford. You feel empowered and capable. It does great things for your attitude.

Human nature seems to drive us to notice what is not right, then spend our time complaining about it and making it larger than it is. True, life does send us true traumas. So, to me, when it is not a true trauma, don’t make it one. See things as they are, realizing that life is as it is; our job is to find ways to be happy and successful with whatever comes our way. And to quote from Winnie the Pooh (it is amazing where wisdom can come from), “You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” Just handle things a little at a time.

Feeling the tension and anger? I thought so.

Two questions:
The first: What can’t you control?
o The weather.
o Your favorite cousins have the flu and won’t be attending.
o Using the new fire pit under the flowering pear tree that is in full flower.
o Aunt Melinda’s jello salad; Uncle Jim’s jokes.

The second: What can you control?
o How you cook the food today.
o How you rearrange the house or garage to have the party.
o How you move the activities to indoor events.
o How much fun you will still have, and how great it will be to see the family.
o Your outlook and attitude.

One of my favorite quotes comes from the poet Maya Angelou, “I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage and tangled Christmas tree lights.”

So, if this were your party, what would the rain tell you about you? Do events that you cannot control take control of you? Do you have a meltdown, or do you realize it is beyond your control and find reasons to be happy?

I often tell the story of getting detoured from my normal route to the highway only to find an amazing plant nursery I did not know about; great plants, great prices and a farmer’s market. What a find! I had two choices with the detour – allow it to get me upset, or to realize I had no control over the event and to be on the lookout for something great.

I believe there is always something great, often initially hidden by a disappointment. The trick is to learn how to be able to see it. And you can’t if you let the things you cannot control get you down.

You can’t always control how things happen, but you can always control how you respond. Be optimistic, upbeat and look for the good. “Positive attitude” – it does a body good.

Please pass this on to someone who can benefit from it.

The last two years have been some of the toughest times in many of our lives. But tough times are just part of the way life is. Life is as it is – our role is to respond to it, treasure and live it in an extraordinary way, regardless how it comes at us.

The key to this is to know yourself – what makes you happy and what your favorite things are. Then to build these things into your life, particularly in tough times, to feel optimistic, content and well.

Most of us don’t spend enough time knowing ourselves and in particular, the things that make us happy. When tough times arrive, we are ill-equipped to successfully respond. So start today. Create a list of your favorite things. Build as many of them into your life everyday – and double up on them when your world is difficult.

Ask yourself these questions to create your list of “favorite things:”
1. What am I good at? What do I feel capable and competent doing?
2. What am I passionate about? What gets me engaged and fired up?
3. What could I do all day and never look at the time?
4. What can I read that will bring me to a good place?
5. Who can I spend time with and feel connected, important and loved?
6. What place or location makes me feel connected and alive?

So back to a thunderstorm in Salzburg, Austria and the Von Trapps. The lesson is that when things get tough, know how to respond with things that make you feel happy, secure and loved. Build your list. Have it ready because life is never easy, but how you respond can make it great.

One of my favorite books is Arianne de Bonvoisin’s First 30 Days. In it, she outlines nine principles of handling change and building a more positive perspective. Her first principle is “People who successfully navigate change have positive beliefs.”

Positive beliefs come from you – you may not be able to control the things that happen to you but you can control how you respond to them. You can choose to see “half-full” – upbeat, optimistic and confident – or choose to see “half-empty” – down, pessimistic and unsure.

Consider these ways to build a more positive perspective:
1. Notice when you become negative and immediately focus on something positive. Have others help you see your behavior.
2. Read a power quote or an inspirational passage to start your day on a positive tone.
3. Create an upbeat “break” during the day. Focus on 3 things that have gone well so far.
4. Choose your friends wisely; associate with positive and confident people.

To make the point, here are some great half-empty/half-full perspectives from the website www.businessballs.com.
o The project manager/engineer says the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. 

o The bar fly says is not about whether the glass is half full or half empty, it’s about who is paying for the next round.
o The consultant says let’s examine the question, prepare a strategy for an answer, and all for a daily rate of…
o The worrier frets that the remaining half will evaporate by tomorrow.
o The fanatic thinks the glass is completely full, even though it isn’t. 

o The entrepreneur sees the glass as undervalued by half its potential.
o The computer specialist says that next year the glass capacity will double and will cost half the price.
o The Buddhist says don’t worry, remember the glass is already broken.
o The personal coach knows that the glass goes from full to empty depending on the circumstances, and reminds the drinker that he can always fill the glass when he wishes.
o The grammarian says that while the terms half-full and half-empty are colloquially acceptable the glass can technically be neither since both full and empty are absolute states and therefore are incapable of being halved or modified in any way. 


You control your attitude. Know yourself; choose to be positive and upbeat. It is great for your health and happiness.

We choose our attitude, how we approach our days and what difference we make. We have repeatedly heard that attitude inspires our success or leads to our downfall. Are you truly happy, or are you constantly miserable? As poet Maya Angelo says, “You can tell a lot about a person by the way he or she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage and tangled Christmas tree lights.” What kind of person are you – a shiner or a whiner?

The world is not perfect – it will never be and it isn’t designed to be. But in the course of our challenging days we are gifted with extraordinary things – if we choose to see them. Each day we choose the particular glasses through which we see our world. We can see gloom and limits, or opportunities and possibilities. We influence the outcome and success of our days by our choice to whine or shine. Our choice. Our lens.

I have a friend who revels in having the world see how difficult his world is. He is always more tired, more strapped for money, more upset, more unappreciated…the list doesn’t end. I think his perspective is “if you are not visibly suffering, how will others know you are a martyr?” Why be a martyr? Time for some whine…

I also have a friend who is dealing with a long-term debilitating illness. This person is upbeat, happy and fully present in his world. Every day he is content, optimistic and adding value. What a shine…

It is our choice to how to approach our days and how to be affected by the events in our day. Attitude is everything.

Take Action: Commit to wearing new “glasses” – to see the positive instead of the negative. Start your “shine” list – a list of the reasons to be upbeat, appreciative and grateful. But if you choose to rise and whine, I’m not going to invite you to my party, even if I am serving cheese. (whine and cheese…get it?)

One of my new favorite books is Ariane de BonVoisin’s The First 30 Days. She presents change creates opportunity and we should believe that change will always lead us to something better. With this thought, we don’t fear change; we welcome it. (Check out her book and website).

It is difficult to maintain an optimistic perspective in the face of harsh times. But our resiliency is dependent on our attitude. If we constantly focus on the negative, then that is all we will see (and the medications and time with psychologists will continue). If, instead, we develop the ability to constantly focus on the positive and the opportunities, we will be more upbeat and optimistic and will have the energy and tenacity to survive the down times.

This economy got me down. So to jumpstart myself out my self-imposed death spiral, I listed as many benefits of a recession as I could think of. Click here to see my list. It was easier to write than I thought and it brought me to a better reality. Use the comment section to add your personal “benefits of a recession” – I’ll keep the list going.

Time for Action: How will you stay upbeat and focused on the good? What great things have happened in a down time? How will you use obstacles to become more connected to who you are and the talents you have? You own your life and your attitude. Get out of neutral.

I have been speaking and working with both companies and individuals for over 25 years. Most seem to be convinced that their work life and their home lives are supposed to be average; that passionate and exciting lives are reserved for the famous and the few. My message in all that time has been to train people to spend time with themselves – to learn what they are great at and what they love to do. It may be reading, cooking or gardening. It may be flying, singing or investing. It may be connecting with others, inventing or working with computers. Each of us is gifted with a very specific combination of talents and strengths. Our lives are given to us to discover who we are, discover our combination of talents and strengths, and then build a work and home life that plays to what we are the best at and the most passionate about. This is how we own our lives. This is how we live more authentically and honestly. This starts with a greater self-awareness by answering the two questions: What am I a great at? What am I passionate about?

Life is not a dress rehearsal. The sooner we learn what gifts, talents and passions we have, the sooner we can build our lives around them. Not only does this make us more competitive in our work lives, but it amplifies each day of home lives. We live more fully, contribute more significantly and enjoy our lives. Albert Einstein said, “The single most important decision any of us ever have to make is whether or not to believe we will live in a friendly universe.” That means do we feel that life is supposed to be extraordinary and that the world is a positive place waiting for us to contribute our best. Or, as many feel, life is meant to be bland and boring…and they just count the days until it ends.

For me, and for those I speak to, the only way to approach life is Fired Up! Be passionate, be excited, love what you do and the life you have. Know yourself, play to your strengths and build a life that lets you work and live in a way that excites you and moves you. It is your choice. The buck stops with you. You own your life and your decisions about it and work. If you hate your job, start to identify a job you love and build a plan to get it. If there are aspects of life that are bland or are not for you, start to build a plan to change. Time doesn’t wait. Bland and boring is a waste of your time. Choose great. Choose passionate. Choose Fired Up!